Elaine’s journey into fostering began years before she ever applied. When her son was in high school, one of his close friends lived in a children’s home and often came back to Elaine’s house after school.
Taking him back to the children’s home stayed with her. She remembered thinking there had to be something better for children than institutional care. From then on, fostering was always something Elaine and her husband talked about. They wanted to help children and give them a different life, but at the time they were both working full-time and raising their son, so they put the thought of fostering on hold until they were ready.
Later, when Elaine became a carer for her mum, fostering once again went on the back burner. It wasn’t until a conversation with a work colleague that things began to change.
Elaine realised that fostering wasn’t just through local authorities and learned about independent fostering agencies. By then, the timing finally felt right.
Fourteen years later, Elaine knew it was meant to be.
Elaine and her husband chose Excel Fostering because of our small, family-focused feel. They liked that we felt personal and supportive, rather than feeling like “just a number”.
They have been with us ever since.
“The support that we’ve had has been truly amazing,” Elaine says. From training and supervision to ongoing encouragement, she has always felt that the team genuinely care, not only about the children, but about the foster carers too.
Elaine and her husband received their first placement nearly 14 years ago. That child is still with them today and is now 20 years old. In total, they have had four placements; one child was adopted, and the other three remain part of their family.
Their eldest foster son arrived at seven and a half years old. He had been moved around frequently and carried significant trauma. Elaine describes long nights sitting with him, talking through doors, and simply being there, so he knew he was safe.
Over time, trust grew. Today, he calls Elaine and her husband mum and dad.
For Elaine, some of the most rewarding moments in fostering have been the many “firsts” she has shared with the children; first birthday parties, first birthday cakes, first holidays and first flights.
She speaks with pride about seeing the children fully integrated into their wider family. At a recent family wedding, one foster child was best man, and the others were flower girls across a two-day celebration!
Elaine is open about the challenges that come with fostering. She believes that support is essential and encourages foster carers to ask for help, attend groups, talk to other carers and make use of services like MATTS, our very own Multi-disciplinary Assessment Treatment & Therapy Service.
MATTS, in particular, helped Elaine and her family understand behaviours more deeply, develop coping strategies and find new ways of managing difficult moments.
“It gives you a different way to look at things and to understand behaviour better.”
Fostering has changed the way Elaine sees the world. She explains that it opened her eyes to what some children and their families have experienced.
She believes fostering has helped her family build resilience, compassion and understanding, and taught them that behaviours are often a product of past experiences, not the child themselves.
Elaine encourages anyone considering fostering to talk to foster carers and learn what fostering is really like. She stresses the importance of being ready and having the time and emotional capacity to give to a child.
Fostering hasn’t changed who Elaine’s family are at heart, but it has opened their hearts wider. What began as a family with one child has grown into a family with brothers and sisters, built on patience, commitment and love.
Start the conversation today. Our team of friendly advisors are on hand to answer any foster care questions you may have. We can offer you honest and practical advice that can help you decide if becoming a foster carer is the right path for you.
